You had a business, it was going great. You needed extra help, your partner hated their job. BOOM! Idea hits! You’ll employ them to do the work. It will great you think, we can see each other all the time, we have romantic lunch dates in cute coffee shops and travel to meetings together. Chances are however, you didn’t interview anyone else to fill this job role, they properly aren’t the best candidate out there and they are actually causing you more stress than you thought.
In many ways it’s easier when you have an employee who is not a family member and this comes from me working with both my parents, my sister and my husband and various points in my life. I have never once shouted at an employee for doing something incorrectly, I have however completely lost my shit at all 4 members of my family I’ve worked with. Why is that? These should be the people you care about the most and yet I can recall on a number of occasions shouting at John (husband) loud enough that he could have heard if he was in Australia. In a coma.
No one likes to be shouted at, ever. It automatically brings up a wall and the shoutee goes into defence mode straight away. From my (very) detailed knowledge of shouting and arguments, it never ever ends well. Everything gets thrown into an argument especially when you are a couple. Somehow what started as someone moaning as Sarah didn’t refill the printer paper ends up with Dave liking his exes holiday photo on facebook. It is very hard in this situation to separate out work and personal life. Inevitably someone gets hurt and that person is someone who is close to you. Someone you shouldn’t want to hurt.
One thing you can do is have set tasks that you each do or set job roles. Bonus if you can write this out as systems. Dave is in charge of social media and marketing and it is Sarah’s job to answer customer emails. Both parties keep to their own jobs. The other knows and trusts that they are being done correctly and things do not slip though the gaps. Think about it, you don’t take on an employee and give them free reigns to do what they want? They have a job role, a description of what they are doing day to day.